CRAP review- Marlborough Hotel

Marlborough Hotel, Marlborough, QLD.
Greetings, pub devotees. Unfortunately, my reviews are not as often as you or I would like, but here is my latest little piece in my Crawling Round Australia Pub Crawl.

The Marlborough Hotel is located north of Rockhampton, south of Mackay. Not quite halfway, but close enough. We stopped here because for $4 a person, they let you camp in their back yard. This includes use of their showers & toilets, which is not too bad a deal. It’s off the Bruce Highway, just past the big colony of fruit bats for northbound traffic. Talk about a freaky sight! Right out of a Dracula movie!

Lovely little one pub town, with a Police Station, SES Rescue Unit, pool and a little shop. Can’t say I made it past the pub, although I did walk through the Lions Park next morning. Doing my bit. The only draw back is the train line runs right alongside the main street. Freight and coal trains run past pretty regularly.

What can I say. I live for little country town pubs. The feel, the atmosphere, the sensation as you walk into somewhere you’ve never been, but reminds you of so many places you have. So I may be a little biased when it comes to comparing them, but then again these are my reviews, and my idea of what a pub should be like. You’ll get used to it.

The beer was good and cold. VB, XXXX, and Hahn Lite on tap. None of your yuppy trendy Drys, Blondes, Mids, etc. One tap of each. Schooners and Pots. Keepin it simple. My only criticism here is that there was a slight odour to the beer, hit the nose just before you drank it. Dose of Bracton wouldn’t hurt, but the beer flavor wasn’t affected. Good cold glasses, and a short pull from the cellar to the taps. About 3 feet, I reckon!

Staff were really friendly. After setting up the van, and sitting for my first beer, the barman (who turned out to be Steve, the publican, ex fitter and turner for Bundaberg Sugar for 20 years, 3 sons, just doing a stint as a publican before retiring, been at Marlborough for 3 years, no the deers head was there when he started) was quick with a how do you do, where you from, where you going little conversation. Soon determined the footy was going to be on later, I could take my beer out to the van, and the kitchen opened 6 to 8.

This is a big thing for me in a pub. Friendly openness. A welcome feel. You really only get it when you walk into a real country pub. Now I’ll grant you that there may only be 1 or 2 other people in there, and the staff are bored shitless and need to talk to someone, anyone! But I’ll take that anyday over a “$3.90 thanks” and a turned shoulder as they would rather polish some glasses.

Lucky I’ve made up a bit of a scale and score sheet, but, to keep things in check. The Marlborough fell short in a couple of other areas, but as little pubs go, I reckon it was a beauty. Plenty of character and plenty of characters. Scored a 6.7, which is not a bad total. Food let the place down a little.

Food was regular pub fare. Hot, brown, frozen veg, filled the plate. Averaging around $15 a plate, is was no bargain either. But it filled the hole that a full days travelling makes, and saves prepping and washing up. Money well spent.

Kids weren’t particularly catered for, except no one minded them running around. And the back beer garden / huge lawn was heaps of room for them to go crazy. There was a huge white dog, as friendly as could be, very placid. Just dawdled around behind the kids, tongue lolling out. Might have eaten them, but was pretty well fed, and didn’t look like it could be bothered.

Best feature was definitely the bar, and the staff. Finally, a bar you can sit at! About 8 metres of polished timber where you can sit, watch the tele, and comment on life. Add to that bar staff who love a chat and a joke, and involve everyone in the conversation. Can dish out a bit of stick, but take it as well.

To top it all off, great memories of home, when my Bundy was served on ice in a glass, with a can of coke on the side. Add as much or as little as you like, and if you don’t need coke next time, the shot is cheaper!

So all in all, a great pub. I probably think higher of it than it may deserve, since it has been so long since I’ve been in a decent country pub, but its definitely worth a visit if you’re in the area. I mean cold beer, good company. It doesn’t really need anything more than that.
Cheers,
Tim…

O'Donoghue's CRAP review

O’Donoghue’s Irish Tavern, Emu Plains, NSW

Well, I guess this is the start of it all. Even though this is just a little shake down trip, I may as well set down a standard for my Crawling Round Australia Pub (C.R.A.P.) Review! Get a few guidelines in place to keep comparing apples with apples (or schooners with schooners, as the case may be!).

First port of call has been O’Donoghues Irish Tavern in Emu Plains near Penrith, New South Wales, and boy, has the bar been set high! While most people here probably consider themselves out in the country, this is still the city as far as I’m concerned, with the trains, traffic and huge shopping centres. 3 sets of lights within 200 metres? It’s a city.

So O’Donoghue’s is like an oasis. As country a city pub as any I’ve seen, and more Irish than quite a few, too. Relaxed atmosphere, family friendly, good food, cold beer and decent prices. The beer garden is excellent, with fans and water sprays for the heat, and heaters when cold. Play area for the kids, with inside play toys for the adults. Weekends see regular live bands performing, so if you’re after a quiet meal I’d avoid these nights, or eat a bit early. There’s also the regular pub gigs like trivia and karaoke. I’d say this is the social centre of Emu Plains!

It was 42’ the first day there, so the beer felt frosty cold. It could have been served at 10’ and still tasted bloody cold! But repeat trips to the bar over the next couple of days confirmed a nice drinking temperature. Cold glasses, icy beer. Good range of tap beers, with enough old being pulled to keep it fresh in the lines for traditionalists.

Price was average for NSW, $3.90 a schooner. Good news is there are plenty of happy hours, with 12pm to 5.30 on a Saturday costing $2.60, and 3 to 5 weekdays costing $2.50! That’s genuine 1990 prices! Not many places you can sit back now and enjoy a few beers for ten bucks!
Staff were friendly, but no more than the job entailed. No more conversation than was required to get the order, but done with a smile. Here was the real difference between a country hotel and a city pub. There wasn’t even a comment about the mid 40’s heat outside, a conversation starter if ever there was one!

Atmosphere of the place was nice, with plenty of old posters and tools on the wall, big timber tables, old polished bar and pokies hidden away out the back somewhere. The focus of the place seemed to be the undercover outdoor beer garden, which was quite pleasant for lunch and a slow afternoon where the kids could play in the old locomotive that has been converted to a play area. There was a stipulation that kids had to be out of this area by 9pm, however, and I’d want to be out of there a lot earlier on a Friday and Saturday anyway.

The place is nice and clean, at the bar, bistro and toilets. Not one issue with dirty glasses, plates, or cutlery. Staff got around quite regularly clearing and wiping down tables.

Typing of bistro, food was nice. Simple fair, but good servings. Nice steaks, good chips. The gravy was brown. SWMBO’s vegetarian needs weren’t really taken care of, but she’s easier to get along with after a feed of meat, so no real complaints! And average prices, but the specials were great value. $6 lunches, choice of steak, schnitzel or fish, with chips and salad. 400gram T-bone steak with chips and salad for $9.50 on a Thursday! $8 for a half chicken and chips. Pretty good value, all in all.

So, in summary, a pretty good pub. It scored a 7.6 on my CRAP Rating. That’s going to be pretty hard to beat, so any pub that rates a 7 is going to be worth a visit, and anything getting an 8 or more is definitely a pub of note. You’ll find me chained to the bar anywhere that scores a 9.
Cheers,
Tim…